What if reaching the next level of success wasn’t determined by another skill, degree, or course but by something that changed on the inside?
That’s what Dr. Jim Loehr believes, and in this episode, he reveals everything he knows about mental toughness and winning the mind game. Shane and Loehr discuss the radical importance of the stories you tell yourself—including how they can damage your kids—and how to change the negative stories you believe. Loehr also shares the best reflection questions to ask yourself to reveal personal blindspots, the importance of rituals for calming anxiety and performing under pressure, and how the best in the world use their recovery time effectively.
Available now: YouTube | Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Transcript
Dr. Jim Loehr is a world-renowned performance psychologist and author of 16 books. From his more than 30 years of experience and applied research, Dr. Loehr believes the single most important factor in successful achievement, personal fulfillment, and life satisfaction is the strength of one’s character. Dr. Loehr possesses a masters and doctorate in psychology and is a full member of the American Psychological Association.
Here are a few highlights from the episode:
Your inner voice pretty much determines your destiny.
I ask myself, Is this story that I’m telling myself aligned with the best part of me, with who I really want to be in life, my values, my sense of purpose? Does this story take me where I want to go in life?
More important than what you achieve is who you become as a consequence of the chase.
Your public voice with your children becomes their inner voice.
The thing that’s amazing to me about these folks who become such extraordinary examples of genius is that most of them had no clue that this is where they were going to end up. And they tended to end up in situations where they had the opportunity to flourish, where a light went on inside them.
Time doesn’t give you anything except the opportunity to make the investment of the one thing that moves the needle, that changes everything, and that’s your energy. Whatever you invest your energy in, you give life to.
Journalling Prompts
At one point in the conversation, I asked Jim about prompts for journalling, but he didn’t get a chance to answer. I reached out by email, and here is what he sent me.
1. Begin with a things to do list that helps to plan your day-1st thing in the morning. Read your things to-do list from the previous day and create your plan for today.
2. Set aside 10-15 minutes immediately following your things to-do list for Journal writing.
3. Your writing is not a catharsis of negative emotions. That’s a different writing exercise than the one I’m proposing.
4. You are writing from your best self, coaching yourself with your hand. There is nothing negative in the message you send to yourself.
5. The message should be positive, constructive, hopeful, and inspirational. It is YOU coaching YOU as if you were advising your best friend.
6. Make a list of things you are struggling with — that are topics to coach yourself on.
7. Read what you wrote the previous day before starting your new journal entry.
8. You are seeking wisdom, perspective, and understanding in your writing that will translate into concrete action and change.
9. Remember, you are drawing out the best, most responsible YOU in your writing.
10. When you read what you have written, you should feel a sense of pride with your coaching advice. You are training your inner voice to be the best coach you could ever have!
Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro
01:14 – Parenting and storytelling
04:09 – How to determine whether or not the stories are limiting or enabling you
06:35 – What the stories world-class performers tell themselves
12:56 – How to change the stories you tell yourself
21:20 – Questions to journal about
24:10 – Private voices vs. public voices (and how they impact your kids)
29:26 – How to help your friends change their stories
35:24 – How to better come alongside your kids to prevent destructive behavior
43:00 – What Loehr knows about high performers that others miss
51:06 – On time and energy
01:04:20 – Conquering the “between point” ritual
01:09:44 – On rituals vs. habits
01:13:48 – How to increase your mental toughness
01:21:45 – On success
