Dr. Becky Kennedy: A Playbook for Better Parenting [The Knowledge Project Ep. #187]

Shane Parrish: Let’s start with a common term that we use as adults, and as adults we use with our kids, but I don’t know if I have a really good understanding of it, which is, What is a boundary?

Dr. Becky Kennedy: So here’s how I define a boundary, and I define it this way because then it’s something I can actually assess and I can know if I’m setting one or not. So to me, a boundary is something we tell someone else we will do, and it requires the other person to do nothing. And so the reason I really, really like that definition is because we can then afterwards say, “Okay, well, the thing I did, did I tell someone what I will do? And does it require the other person to do nothing?” And almost always we say “No.”