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Letting Go

No. 585 – July 14, 2024

Welcome to Sunday Brain Food, a weekly newsletter full of timeless ideas and insights you can use in life and work. (Read the archives). Not subscribed? Learn more and sign up.

FS

In 1960, David Packard gave an informal speech at the company he co-founded that wasn’t intended for publication. Commenting on the purpose of business, he said:

“I think many people assume, wrongly, that a company exists simply to make money. While this is an important result of a company’s existence, we have to go deeper and find the real reasons for our being. As we investigate this, we inevitably come to the conclusion that a group of people get together and exist as an institution that we call a company so they are able to accomplish something collectively which they could not accomplish separately. They are able to do something worthwhile— they make a contribution to society (a phrase which sounds trite but is fundamental).”

— The HP Way

Insights

“You deserve to be loved and chosen — not almost loved, or almost chosen.

[…]

Have the courage to let go of the people who leave your heart confused. Let go of the people who make you feel like you are compromising all that you desire, and all that you hope for, and all of the goodness and the beauty that you know exists in this world, for a skinny version of love. … Let go of the fears you have that keep you holding on to something that hurts, something that is so heavy, something that has only left you feeling misunderstood, or unworthy, or at war with yourself. Let go of waiting for the people you have always treated kindly, to treat you kindly. Let go of waiting for the people you have always treated with respect, to treat you with respect. Let go of waiting for the people you have always chosen, to finally choose you. Let go of waiting. Let go of holding your breath, just hoping that things change.”

— Bianca Sparacino, A Gentle Reminder


“There is no better teacher than history in determining the future. There are answers worth billions of dollars in a $30 history book.”

— Charlie Munger


“I wasn’t scared of missing, looking bad, or being embarrassed. That’s because I always kept the end result, the long game, in my mind. I always focused on the fact that I had to try something to get it, and once I got it, I’d have another tool in my arsenal. If the price was a lot of work and a few missed shots, I was OK with that.

I never felt outside pressure. I knew what I wanted to accomplish, and I knew how much work it took to achieve those goals. I then put in the work and trusted in it. Besides, the expectations I placed on myself were higher than what anyone expected from me.”

— Kobe Bryant

Tiny Thoughts

“Being happy with what you have doesn’t prevent you from pursuing what you want.”


“The difference between average results and exceptional is often found in what you don’t do. Everyone can say yes to great opportunities but only a focused person will say no to average ones. You can do anything, but you can’t do everything.”


“Keep the goal. Change your mind about how to reach it.

One sign you’re getting in your own way is not changing your tactics when you’re not getting the desired result.”

Podcast

Maya Shankar on using identity to help you accomplish goals (lightly edited for clarity):

You want to frame your goals in terms of “do” behaviors versus “don’t” behaviors. It’s easier to measure progress when engaging in proactive decisions or proactive behaviors rather than abstaining from things. You say, “Okay, I want to be a runner. I’m going to start by running half a mile every day.” That’s going to be easier to track than “I’m not going to sit on my couch for as long.” That’s a hard thing to measure and doesn’t feel as inspiring or motivating.

When it comes to identity … We can, especially at the outset of goal setting, be wildly ambitious about what we want to accomplish. We can have that purity complex where if we don’t abide by the rules, let’s say, of our first week or our second week and we just fall off the wagon, we think, “Okay, well, we already kind of screwed this up, so what’s the point?” That can be counterproductive. There is research showing that when we introduce what are known as “emergency reserves,” basically “get out of jail free” cards, into the process of goal setting, we’re much more likely to stay the course and to reach those goals. For example, let’s say I want to run 5K in however many weeks. You build in six days along the way where you don’t run for whatever reason. You got sick; you have to drop your kids off at school; you don’t feel like it; that’s okay, too. You’re bridging an empathy gap between you and your future self when you’re building in that emergency reserve. You’re acknowledging that real life is going to happen and that when I don’t run that one day, it is not a threat to this future or present identity of runner. It is an expected and pseudo-welcome part of the process because it’s a more sustainable way to achieve your goals.

One mistake we can make is on a Sunday at 4:00 PM, when we’re lying on the couch watching TV, we think to ourselves, “Okay, I’m going to get up at 4:00 every morning, and I’m going to work out at 4:00 AM.” When push comes to shove, of course, we’re at a very different state in that moment, and we often have a hard time sticking to those goals. That’s another example of an empathy gap between our present selves and our future selves, which can be very problematic. If you are up at 4:00 AM and at the gym working out, that’s a reasonable moment to say, “I’m going to try to keep doing this for however many days I can manage.” … We don’t want to get in our own way at the time when we’re actually setting the goals such that we make less progress than we could. We can take these factors into account at the outset.

— Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. (Members have access to a transcript).

Thanks for reading,

— Shane

P.S. Humans. 

P.P.S. If you’ve been thinking about getting a copy of Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results (or buying a few copies as gifts for colleagues), now is the best time! It’s the lowest price I’ve seen in the US.

P.P.P.S. All four books in The Great Mental Models are available for pre-order. The first three volumes have been revised, including all new conclusions to each model. The fourth version was never published before.

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